The Council of Europe

by Muzek, Wallner and Toma

1. Original paragraph

The Council of Europe is the most important organisation beside the European Union in Europe. What makes this organisation so important is their aim to protect human rights, promote democracy and cultural diversity and fight social problems. Also, the Council supports issues like education, sports and youth mobility, apart from many others. The reason why they do all this is to guarantee the economic and social progress of their 47 member states. It was founded in 1949 by only ten European states. Because the membership is open to any “European” state which has the same beliefs, the amount of members is growing ever since. Not only European countries can join the Council but also non-European ones can do so as observers or partners. Observers are usually non-European democracies which want to support the Council of Europe when spreading democracy in developing countries. These countries have the status of partners and are supported in their democratisation process by them. To sum up, it is very important that we have a clear picture of everything the Council of Europe achieved and still is, in order to understand its importance in our everyday lives.

[191 words]

Our corrected version

The Council of Europe is the most important organisation beside the European Union in Europe. ( Besides/Apart from the European Union, the Council of Europe is the most important organization in Europe.) What makes this organisation so (omit, because rather informal register) important (repeated word; significant, essential) is their aim to protect human rights, promote democracy and cultural diversity and fight social problems. Also (Moreover would be better here, as it is more formal) , the Council supports issues like (encourages topics such as) education, sports and youth mobility, apart from many others (omit because of “such as....” it’s clear that there are other topics) The reason why they (it is the council who does all that and therefore “they” is incorrect) do all this is to guarantee the economic and social progress of their 47 member states. It was founded in 1949 by only ten European states (incoherent, should have come at the beginning of the paragraph). Because (usually you don’t begin a sentence with because; “Since” would be better here) the membership is open to any “European” state which has (shares) the same beliefs, the amount (number) of members is growing (has been increasing) ever since. Not only European countries can (can European countries) join the Council(,) but also non-European ones can do so as observers or partners. Observers are usually non-European democracies which want (rather informal register; tend to) to support the Council of Europe when (by) spreading democracy in developing countries. These countries have the status of partners and are supported in their democratisation process by them. To sum up, it is very important (crucial/essential) that we have a clear picture of (we are aware of) everything the Council of Europe achieved and still is, in order to understand its importance in our everyday lives.

2. Original paragraph

With a total of 47 member countries, including all of the present EU member states as well as several countries located beyond the EU borders, the Council of Europe bears great responsibility for the preservation of democracy in Europe. The Council was founded in 1949 by Belgium, Denmark, France, Ireland, Italy, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, Norway, Sweden and the United Kingdom, essentially in order to establish democratic stability in all European states.  The Council further strives to promote awareness of Europe’s cultural identity and diversity as well as their development. The latest member to join was Montenegro in 2007, after it signed and ratified the 83 conventions of the Council of Europe. The general requirement for a country to join the Council of Europe is to be at least partially located in Europe and to share the same common values. These values range from the respect of human rights and fundamental freedoms to pluralistic democracy, the rule of law as well as free and fair elections. Countries that are located beyond the EU borders are designated, provided they are willing to contribute to the democratic transitions in Europe, such as Japan and the USA for instance. Observer states are permitted to participate in the committee of ministers and in intergovernmental committees. Otherwise they may attain observer status with the Parliamentary Assembly, as do Canada and Israel, meaning that they are authorized to engage in Assembly sessions. In addition to its member and observer states, the Council of Europe partnered with the EU, the UN and a variety of international organizations, including the ALESCO (Arab League Educational, Cultural, Scientific Organization), the OSCE (Organization for Security and co-operation in Europe) and the Anna Lindh Euro-Mediterranean Foundation for the Dialogue between cultures. In conclusion, the main function of the Council of Europe is to assure democracy in Europe and cooperation between all European states in terms of human rights.

[315 words]

Our corrected version

With a total of 47 member countries, including all of the present EU member states as well as several countries located beyond the EU borders, the Council of Europe bears great responsibility (good expression+ good TS) for the preservation of democracy in Europe. The Council was founded in 1949 by Belgium, Denmark, France, Ireland, Italy, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, Norway, Sweden and the United Kingdom, essentially (omit, because in order to is enough here) in order to establish democratic stability in all European states.  The Council further strives to promote awareness of Europe’s cultural identity and diversity as well as their development. The latest member to join was Montenegro in 2007, after it signed and ratified the 83 conventions of the Council of Europe. The general requirement for a country to join the Council of Europe is to be at least partially located in Europe and to share the same common values. These values range from the respect of human rights and fundamental freedoms to pluralistic democracy, the rule of law as well as free and fair elections. Countries that are located beyond the EU borders are designated, provided they are willing to contribute to the democratic transitions in Europe, such as Japan and the USA for instance. Observer states are permitted to participate in the committee of ministers and in intergovernmental committees. Otherwise (comma required) they may attain observer status with the Parliamentary Assembly, as do Canada and Israel, meaning that they are authorized to engage in Assembly sessions. In addition to its member and observer states, the Council of Europe partnered with the EU, the UN and a variety of international organizations, including the ALESCO (Arab League Educational, Cultural, Scientific Organization), the OSCE (Organization for Security and co-operation in Europe) and the Anna Lindh Euro-Mediterranean Foundation for the Dialogue between cultures. In conclusion, the main function of the Council of Europe is to assure democracy in Europe and cooperation between all European states in terms of human rights. (good CS)

Final version (incorporate good qualities from the two paragraphs)

With a total of 47 member countries, including all of the present EU member states as well as several countries located beyond the EU borders, the Council of Europe bears great responsibility for the preservation of democracy in Europe. The Council was founded in 1949 by Belgium, Denmark, France, Ireland, Italy, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, Norway, Sweden and the United Kingdom in order to establish democratic stability in all European states. The Council strives to promote awareness of Europe’s cultural identity and diversity as well as economic development. The latest member to join was Montenegro in 2007, after having signed and ratified the 83 conventions of the Council of Europe. The general requirement for a country to join the Council of Europe is to be at least partially located in Europe and to share the same common values. These values range from respecting human rights and fundamental freedoms to pluralistic democracy as well as maintaining the rule of law and guaranteeing fair elections. Countries that are located beyond the EU borders, such as the USA and Japan, are designated to the democratic transitions in Europe, provided they are willing to contribute. These so-called observer states are permitted to participate in the committee of ministers and in intergovernmental committees. They may also attain observer status with the Parliamentary Assembly, meaning that they are authorized to engage in Assembly sessions. In conclusion, the main function of the Council of Europe is to assure democracy in Europe and cooperation between all European states.

[249 words]